My Friend Just Lost Her Husband
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By : Julyne Derrick. Pin It. To the person who is left behind, no time is the right time for their best friend to die. I want the person. We Can Help! Our local advisors can help your family make a confident decision about senior living. She has more than 20 years experience writing and editing for online Websites including MSN.
She particularly enjoys finding solutions for the everyday issues people face as they and their loved ones age. Please share your thoughts or comments on this article:. By clicking Go!
You also consent that we, or our partner providers, may reach out to you using a system that can auto-dial; however, you do not need to consent to this to use our service. Anosognosia and Alzheimer's Posted On 22 Mar Newsletter Signup. What we all do know, though, is that appearances can be deceiving.
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I lost weight and hair and, for a while, also my period. The sender had three-and-a-half years to send it.
9 Things Not to Say to Someone Who's Grieving
Any day before that one would have been fine. Just do it. So just say something. The feeling that someone cares about you and your pain can be so comforting. I had people I barely knew express sympathy, and it definitely really helped. I tend to still reach out to them, but quickly afterwards back off. Is it? I approve. Postcards, formal bereavement letters, emails, WhatsApp pings, texts and Facebook messages. Vouchers for yoga classes and theatre tickets from a group of old schoolmates who wanted to cheer my whole family up. My aunt moved in with us, memorized how we all take tea and coffee, made every single meal for us and, one evening, dragged lamps from all around the house into the bathroom so I could bathe in more luxurious lighting.
But if there was any good intention there, whatever it was, I appreciated it. If they do initiate a conversation, make space for their words without necessarily feeling the need to interject. Without any magical thing to say to make it all better, just give them the space to express themselves and feel heard. I personally found comfort in others agreeing that things were shit. I personally felt very isolated being 24 and not knowing anyone else going through the same thing.
At a ripened 31 now, this has changed quite a bit, and I gain a lot from talking to other members of the Dead Dads Club. Linking members to any community like this could be hugely helpful. After the service, people will return to their day-to-day lives.
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It is during this time that your friend or loved one may need you the most. Remain available for as long as you can. You can also encourage friends to visit and call often.
Death of a Spouse: How you can help someone who is grieving.
Be a good listener. Elderly spouses, in particular, will likely want to talk and tell stories about the spouse. Encourage them to share their memories by putting them down on paper or on tape. Depending on the situation, this may be appropriate but be sure to consider the feelings of the person who is grieving the death of a spouse.
He or she may need to maintain control in order to work through grief. If you are concerned that the bereaved is not healing or you are worried about their welfare, consult a professional. Trying to relate what the person is going through to yourself or someone else is not helpful and may give the impression that you are minimizing the way the person is feeling.
Let to them talk about their feelings.
More from our ‘How to be a Better Friend – especially in Difficult Time / Situations’ series:
For the elderly, it is important that you spend as much time as possible with them without being intrusive. You can also expect fits and starts. You may have thought that your friend or loved one has turned a corner only to find they have taken a few steps back. This is natural.